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watermelon helmet (1)If you see a young lady busting out of a tight shirt that says, “GUESS” on it, what comes to your mind? ThinkNiceBe careful about expecting people to guess who you are. They might come up with answers you don’t like. Halloween is the best time of year to let people know who you are and what you stand for.

Have you ever spent too much time and money pulling together a costume you wore for just a few hours? Or procrastinated and ended up with a lame costume you put together at the last minute? Not this year! You can come up with great Halloween costume ideas quickly and easily if you follow one simple rule: be yourself.

It’s no fun to go to a party trying to be someone you aren’t. Too many people are stuck in this trap in real life. Don’t make the same mistake at Halloween. We play many roles in life. There’s no need to work hard at being a fake when you can have fun being real. Here are seven ways you can enjoy Halloween simply by being you.

1. Find new friends who share your hobby.

Fisherman. Remember the good advice your mother taught you about teaching a man to fish. If you cook a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you get rid of him for the whole weekend. Jokes4Us. If you already have a pole, a fishing vest, some boots and a hat, that’s about all you need. For some extra effect, you can show up with some fish on ice in a cooler. Be prepared to tell your friends about the dangers of eating farmed fish  and the importance of checking Seafood Watch to know your best choices and good alternatives. American Fisheries Society

Happy Camper. Gather up some of your camping gear and tell everyone the benefits of camping. Nature is peaceful, the air is fresh, and the sex is intents! MBCB. Everyone likes a happy camper. Camping World

Hiker. Like to wander through redwoods or go out into the wilderness to climb mountains? Put on your hiking outfit complete with backpack, water bottle, hiking boots, hat and mosquito wear. Tell everyone to take a hike! American Hiking Society

Skeleton. Do you play an instrument? Take your guitar and tell people you lost your tromBONE. American Music Therapy Association

2. Promote a cause you believe in.

Black Cat or Dog. Be the life of the party. Wear a dog T-shirt or mask. After everyone arrives at the party, sit down in the middle of the living room floor and lick your thighs. After you’re all cleaned up, mingle among the crowd on your hands and knees sniffing people’s crotches. Did you know that black cats and dogs are more likely to be euthanized than others? Save a life, adopt a black cat. There’s no reason to fear black cats unless you’re a mouse. Use Halloween as an opportunity to encourage your friends to adopt a pet from the Humane Society. It’s easy to put together this costume. You probably already have some black pants and a long-sleeve black top. Pin a tail to the back of your pants and attach some ears to a headband. Use eyeliner to draw some whiskers on your cheeks.

Breastfeeding Mom. We all know that breastfed babies suck, but not everyone knows that they’re healthier and possibly even smarter. Don’t wait for World Breastfeeding Week to come around to promote the benefits of breastfeeding. Be a mummy. Take your baby or a big baby doll and a blanket, and keep both of them close to your chest. Breastfeeding Magazine 

Homeless Person. Got a heart for the homeless? If you’re an active person, go as dumpster diver. Ask to borrow a grocery cart from your local grocery such as Trader Joe’sWhole Foods Market or some other organic grocer. Load your cart with bags full of plastic and glass. If you don’t want to be active, sit near the door shaking a cup with some coins and ask everyone for money as they go in or out. Give the money to a local homeless shelter. Whatever you do, don’t tell any knock knock jokes. Do you talk to Invisible People?

Recycle Bin. Tell everyone you aspire to be a recycle truck driver because, as your son assures you, they only work one day a week. Jokes4Us. Wear recycle bin green or blue. Get some posterboard in the same color. Use white letters to show what you recycle: glass or plastic, for example. Earth 911

Tree. Know how trees get on the internet? They log in. TB. Trees provide many benefits for people and the planet. Wear a green top with brown pants or a long skirt. Top it off with a green hat. Pin some green leaves to your hat and shirt. If you’re a financial planner, pin dollars to your shirt and be a money tree. Tell everyone to plant their dollars in an investment so they can watch them grow.  Arbor Day Foundation

Toastmaster. People fear public speaking more than they fear death. Many people would rather be the one in the casket instead of the one giving the eulogy. If your doctor has already told you that you only have one year to live, tell him you can’t pay your bill and he’ll give you another year. Go as a politician or famous speaker and tell people that you have the cure for podiumphobia. JOL. Toastmasters gives members a chance to practice their leadership and communication skills while helping them to overcome fears and develop confidence.

3. Be someone you admire.

Monk or Laughing Buddha. This is a good costume for someone who’s recently been wiped out by a divorce or loss of a job. Things are not what they seem, nor are they otherwise. MrJam. Monks give up their secular lives. Tell people that you’ve been wanting  to give up your worldly possessions in exchange for a more meaningful life. Wear a bald cap and wrap yourself up in a red, orange, yellow or brown sheet. Shoe up in flip flops. Money Management International

Patch Adams. He put his medical degree on the line because he believed in treating sick people not only with medicine, but also with kindness and humor. You can pull together a basic Patch Adams outfit with some scrubs and a red nose. If you really want to go all out, use some bed pans for shoes. “The reason adults should look as though they are having fun is to give kids a reason to want to grow up.” Patch Adams Gesundheit Institute

Pope Francis. He’s says that the Church and Christians must strip themselves of worldliness. To be the pope, you need a simple white outfit, a white beanie cap and a big cross necklace. Many want to serve God, but only as advisors. TAG. When you aren’t smiling and waving, remember to keep your hands in a prayer position. Bring along a wash basin and a bar of soap so you can wash people’s feet. It’s a feet treat. Official Vatican Network

4. Be confident with who you are.

Bald Guy or Gal. If you’re bald or balding, go as a famous bald person. Or wear a bald cap if necessary. Be Pitbull. Wear a black outfit and sunglasses. Take several copies of his Global Warming album to pass out as treats and be prepared to give your friends tips on how to stop global warming. Go as Michael Pollan. Remember to bring books to sign. Go as Dr. Phil and give out good advice such as, “you’re only lonely if you’re not there for you.” Go as Seal to drum up awareness of lupus. Hand out roses and kisses. Go as Gail Porter to bring awareness to mental illness or alopecia. Bald people save energy. They don’t have to wash or dry their hair. Go Sly Bald Guys!

Indians

Lorraine & Bob

Hulk. This is a great costume for a big guy. You only need a pair of old tight pants and a tight top. Chop away at the hemline and sleeves to make them looked ragged in a Flintstone kind of way. Use a little Elmer’s glue to make your hair look messy. Paint your body green. For more ideas about the Hulk and the world’s strongest man, see Your Best Excuse for Not Going to the Gym.

Indian. My husband is part Chinook Indian. When he asked me to marry him I didn’t hesitate. He told me that anytime I needed a break, we could always fall back on reservations. This was important to me because he has an exceptionally large pow-wow. Association on American Indian Affairs

Mimimalist. This is the all-time easiest costume. You only need a few items, a plain top and a bottom, or a simple dress for a lady. Skip the underwear and be sure to tell everyone how they can simplify their lives too. Who needs underwear when you’re wearing pants? You have to admit, it’s a bit excessive. Go barefoot. Minimalists are easy on the planet. Becoming Minimalist

5. Share your secret to good health.

Farmer’s Market Shopper. They’re honest people. You have to be when potatoes have eyes and corn has ears. EL. If you regularly shop at your local farmer’s market, it’s “normal” for you to see friendly people with their carts and baskets loaded up with fruits and vegetables, toting their dogs and kids in strollers. Accessorize with sunglasses and a shirt with a green message.Too many kids today mistakenly think that food comes from warehouses, boxes, bags and cans. Farmers Market Coalition

Fruit or Vegetable. It’s best to choose a vegetable that suits your body shape. Be brave, ask a friend or your spouse which one suits you best: asparagus, banana, carrot, corn,red hot chili pepper, sweet potato, or something else. Wear the appropriate colors and carry a plateful of snacks with you as an appetizer. Mingle among the crowd asking, “would you like to taste me?” Come prepared to tell everyone why they should buy organic. Organic Consumers

Green Giant. He’s a giant and he’s green on the outside, but not on the inside. Green Giant appears to have a good goal–to grow vegetables. But be cautious of this green monster who produces GMO vegetables sprayed with pesticides. Dress up as the Green Giant monster and warn your friends about the dangers of GMOs. Avoid Green Giant GMOs 

Scarecrow. Only in America do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries and a diet coke. EHLW. If more people knew what they were really eating, they’d be scared. Scarecrows are vogue this year. Millions have tuned in to watch The Scarecrow.

6. Exaggerate your work outfit.

Medical Professional. If you work in the medical profession, you may not think about wearing your scrubs, but you should. You’ll certainly generate fear in some people, especially if you show up with accessories such as a (plastic) scalpel or some (fake) needles and cotton. Follow Dr. Mercola for tips on staying healthy on your own.

Librarian. You have to make tough decisions when you’re a librarian. If a man is checking out a book on suffocation, for example, should you offer him a bag? FJ. Pick up an armload of books and put on some reading glasses. Walk around with your index finger over your lips, reminding everyone about the benefits of quiet reading time. Ssshhhuuussh. American Library Association

Teacher. Know what happens if you have a vampire for a teacher? You have to take a lot of blood tests. BL Be creative. If you teach biology, bring a platter of cheese with a dissected mouse spread out in the middle. If you’re a social studies teacher, take a globe showing borders but no country names. Tell your students they’ll get a treat if they guess the name of a country you point to. You won’t have to give out too many treats. Educators for Social Responsibility

7. Get moving.

Biker. Bicycling is the most energy-efficient form of transportation on the planet. Want to know the biker’s secret to good health? Work to ride and ride to work. TXW. If you don’t already have a bike, use your Halloween costume as your excuse to buy one. If you have one you haven’t used in a while, dust it off and pump up the tires. Buy a bright fluorescent Halloween orange biker outfit and a black helmet. Not only will you be safer on the road, you’ll have some great new gear that you can use yearround. Be a biker babe or dude for real. People For Bikes

Bus Driver. Drivers have a tough job. “Two blonds got on the bus yesterday,” my friend told me. “The first asked if this bus would take her to 5th Avenue. Sorry, no it won’t, I told her.  The second blond smiled and said, will it take me?” MWIJIf you’re a public transportation worker, you’re an environmental hero! National Alliance of Public Transportation Advocates

Carpooler. Have you heard about the blond carpool group? They meet at work. Anvari. Go to the Halloween party with a few carpool buddies and tell everyone the advantages: saving money on fuel and car repairs, growing friendships, and arriving faster by using the carpool lane.  Check out eRideShare to find some carpool buddies. If a cop ever pulls you over in the carpool lane because he doesn’t see anyone in the car with you, tell him to check your trunk. As he heads toward the back of your car, drive away fast. CC.

Hitchhiker. Hitchhiking helps to save the planet. Make a sign to show where you want to go: SalemIntercourseTruth or ConsequencesElephant Butte Inn, or Why. Add other important notes such as “freshly showered,” or  “off parole, ready to roll.” If you’d like some tips, read HitchWiki or Safe Hitchhiker’s Guide by Ren Tacar CT. Thumbs up to hitchhiking!

Traveler. Dust off a suitcase with wheels. Think of a place you’ve already been, or somewhere you want to go, and dress accordingly. Put a label on your suitcase so you can find it easily. International travel is one of the best ways to learn about other cultures and gain a better understanding of your own. Know before you go. Jamaican Air, for example, only has red eyes. JOL. Not ready to join the Peace Corps, but interested in a short-term adventure? Check out Global Vision International

Goodwill and Salvation Army are great places to find clothing and accessories.

Looking for a way to enjoy Halloween without all the sugar? Check out Halloween Balls: A Candy Substitute for People With Balls.

This is the year to be yourself. If you don’t like who you are, do something about it.

Do Something

doctorlorraine

Author doctorlorraine

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