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Recently, I purchased a Wilton non-stick muffin pan. After I baked a batch of muffins, I realized they fell out too easily, in a Teflon-like kind of way. So I went to the Wilton Facebook page and asked if their baking pans were safe for birds.

Are your muffin pans safe for imaginary birds?

Are your muffin pans safe enough for your imaginary birds?

They responded quickly, but didn’t publicly answer my question. Instead, they gave me their customer service number. When I called, the nice lady said that they “don’t test their products on animals,” so she couldn’t assure me that my (make-believe) pets would survive.

My real question was, “Is this pan harmful to my health?” In case you want to know too, please call and let me know what they say. Perhaps they’ll say they “don’t test their products on humans.”

If you have  questionable non-stick-ish products in your kitchen, I urge you to return or recycle them. While you’re at it, consider removing another dozen dangerous chemicals that may be lurking in your home.

One of the things I like most about Target is their no-fuss return policy. When the nice lady at the return counter asked me why I didn’t want it, I told her, “it might kill my imaginary birds.” She opened her eyes real wide, giving me an are-you-crazy-or-just-confused kind of look. Without asking any more questions, she refunded my money.

A safer alternative is cast iron. From now on, I’ll stick to making muffins in my Lodge pans!



Author doctorlorraine

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  • Tyler says:

    When my wife and I got married in 2005 we had a horrible time trying to return things at Target as we had received marny duplicate and triplicate items. We had even used Target as one of our registered places. They told us we could only return 3 items a year. Since then we are very careful about what we buy at Target.

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